Here is a podcast for you to listen to from a teaching on grief Mary Anne and I did at a recent Personal Transformation Intensive retreat weekend.

Download | Duration: 00:14:50

I work extensively with my clients around their addictions, and my own. Food is the one I struggle with the most. Long ago I released from alcohol, pot, spending, dysfunctional relationships. I really didn't have a spiritual connection back then. I lost it to being a post-holocaust Jew and growing up in an abusive family system. I spent many years and hours in 12 step rooms.  That's where I reconnected with a higher power of my choosing, a univeral and connecting energy I call Creator. It really doesn't matter if you believe you are an addict or not. If you can believe in a power greater than yourself and allow yourself to be cradled in the safety of that energy, and connect fully with your own personal higher self, than addiction might just melt away.

The book and the movie, The Secret was a world wide best seller.  But there was a "secret" they forgot to reveal in The Secret:  It does not always work.  In fact, if we are not careful, it can backfire.  The real secret is that our unconscious beloofs can cancel out and actually reverse the very longings we wish to manifest!

The primary premise of  The Secret is that anyone can manifest their every desire if they simply visualize and believe that their desire will be manifested - that the universe is ready, willing, and able to give them exactly what they want if they will just fervently believe that it will happen.  I share this belief and practice it wholeheartedly.  However, here is the catch... Some fortunate people (and there is now scientific evidence to support this) are more resilient to trauma and less likely to develop overriding and unconscious beloofs as a result of trauma.  Or, they already know the real secret;  we must first connect with and heal our beloofs before we can fully practice the process of manifesting what we long for.  I think those lovely people talking to us in the movie and the book belong to the former group.  If an overriding beloof is present in our unconscious mind that cancels out our conscious manifesting, we can actually end up with shame about not being able to make the Secret work:  I call this beloof, "See how defective I am - I can't even do The Secret! right"

There was a great episode of the TV show Boston Legal  when The Secret was at its height:  Denny Craig, the crazy founder of the legal practice, had read The Secret and was madly trying to manifest a blond movie star coming to his office to make passionate love to him.  At the end of the show, Phyllis Diller walked in wondering why she was there.  When I struggle with the frustration we all encounter manifesting what we long for, I already know that a conscious or unconscious beloof is at work.  I know its time to do a session to discover another layer of my beloof (yes, they are layered like a piece of plywood), and to deepen the healing of that beloof.  That makes manifesting my deepest desires directly proportional to healing my beloofs.  It is a lifelong process of identifying, healing, and manifesting; identifying, healing, and manifesting.  It's the only way I've been able to discover how to make The Secret work in my life. 

Here's a new and powerful belief I suggest:  "I manifest my every longing by staying clear, conscious, and connected to myself, and deepening my healing practices".  Try it on for size - if it fits, make it your own.  

Peace and Love,
Rob

A veteran of World War II shared this beloof with his son after he returned from Viet Nam and was struggling with re-entry into normal life.  After his father returned from the war, he suffered from chronic and untreated "shell shock" becoming alcoholic and abusive.  In the movie "Patton", there is a famous and disturbing scene where a GI is dressed down and screamed at by Patton because he is crying and saying he can't go back into combat.  Patton yells at him, "you're a girl, you are making me sick, you're a coward" and other completely degrading judgments until the GI is dragged sobbing from the room by his superiors. 

How many of us heard some variation of "You just have to learn to live with it" when we were young and vulnerable.  Perhaps our father said it when our mother was chronically late.  Perhaps our mother's said it when our father came home drunk.  Maybe a school counselor said it about a class we hated.  Maybe a minister, priest, rabbi, or other religious leader said it about the abuse we were enduring in our family.

Well, it's a lie!  We don't just have to learn to live with anything.  We have power, we have choice, and we have plentiful resources.  We don't have to live with a boss that sexually harasses us.  We can intervene with a family member that causes us pain or anger by abusing drugs, or creating chaos.  We can protect our children from teachers that shame them.  We can correct people who judge us, or move away from them to form relationships with those who love and support us. 

Here's a suggestion for a new belief: "As my life unfolds naturally, I interact with it in new and healthy ways".  Try saying it five times every morning when you wake up, and five times each night before you fall asleep.  Dropping an old beloof and using a new belief creates miracles!

Let me know if this beloof has been operating in your life, and how you changed it into a new belief.

I invite you to join my blog, www.beloof.com.  I'll be writing articles helping us to uncover the "beloofs" we established long ago still lurking in our conscious and unconscious mind that control the thoughts, behavior, and decisions we create every day of our lives.  As we all work towards uncovering and healing our "beloofs", we can begin to live the life that we long for.

Rob